How to Help a Child With Separation Anxiety at Nursery

First thing’s first, what is separation anxiety?

In short, separation anxiety is characterised by distress at being left somewhere new. It is especially prominent in younger children starting nursery, as it is the first time that they are being left for a prolonged period of time by their parents.

While there is never an easy time to go through separation anxiety, many parents and childcare specialists recognise the value of nursery in giving children this experience early on – preparing them for longer school days. Nursery is as much about preparing them for the school day as it is introducing them to some of the learning and social skills that will help them to thrive at school.

Because separation anxiety is personal to each and every individual, and evokes different responses and reactions in different children, there is no way of removing or switching the feelings of anxiety off.

Having said that, there are techniques that can be employed both at nursery and at home to help children feel safe and supported – allowing them to settle into the nursery day and routine more easily. Here at My Ohana, we believe that the best approach is to manage separation anxiety, by identifying the triggers for each child and helping them to deal with those triggers.

By far the most important thing to do when managing a child’s separation anxiety, and something that has to come from all angles and stakeholders, is empathy and understanding.

Imagine that you are feeling a certain way, and someone tells you to simply snap out of it or get over it. It doesn’t help, does it? This is something you need to remember when dealing with separation anxiety – as while it can feel unjustified, to a child it can feel like the biggest thing in the world.

Separation anxiety starts to ease when the child feels safe and secure at nursery. That’s why we host settling-in sessions and is also why we always make sure that there are familiar nursery workers on hand to greet children as they arrive each day.

A big part of this is in the hands of nursery staff – however, it is also up to you to make sure that you choose a nursery that you feel will offer that support and safety that you know your child needs.

Routine is crucial for young children – but that shouldn’t mean running around in a mad panic every morning to get them ready for nursery in time. Your emotions and stresses rub off on your children and can set them off on the wrong foot in the mornings, making any underlying anxieties feel all the more overwhelming.

Our advice is to make sure that everything is ready the night before, spending the morning checking that they have had a good breakfast, done their teeth, are dressed appropriately, and feel comfortable.

This technique encourages the child to state 3 things they can see, 3 things they can hear, and move 3 parts of their body. It invites them to remove themselves from the anxiety they are feeling and focus on something different – while also becoming increasingly familiar with their environment.

Ensuring that your child feels safe, nurtured, and supported requires a combination of the above steps and a place at the right nursery for them.

Here at My Ohana, we offer limited places to new children each term, and encourage all parents looking to discuss availability to get in touch with us early to avoid disappointment.